"Why do hot guys always want to have sex with hot lemons like us? Don't they realise we don't like men's penises we just love vaginas!"

"I'm looking for Jean Mottershead," said the mysterious lost man. "You've found her!" replied Jean. "Oh, you're not what I was expecting."

Candy was a 35-year-old scorcher, long dark hair, sexy Mediterranean looks and legs that went on for miles. She knew the power she had over men and she knew 
"Candy Fitzgerald"
"Well Candy I'd like to spend a bit more time with you and get to know you. How about I take you to dinner?" said Keith. "I'd love to go to dinner with you," Candy replied. She had no idea what was happening to her, she was falling deep in love with this man she had known for literally minutes. He was

‘Wanted. Big strong man to come round and do odd jobs round the house lol,’

"I know you've rubbed the ink off that Ross Kemp poster you dirty bastard."